Mark Anthony

Life and Death
"Friends,Romans,subjects,shoplifters, dagger users ,lend me your ears!"

Marcus was a devoted fan of Julius Caesar. He followed him around during his "battles" in Gaul. Soon enough after Mark begged for a position in Caesar's army. Caesar gave him a bunch in order to distance his ears for Mark's unceasingly flowery rhetoric ( it took him sixty minutes to ask for a glass of water). One day Caesar died after Brutus killed him after Caesar told him one yo mama joke to many. He and Cassius were offended when Caesar told them their mothers ought to be thanked for providing such good examples of failure. In the aftermath Mark ran in his bathrobe believing he would be mistaken for a slave out of Rome fearing Brutus would stab him as well. He came back after recovering from the dramatic memory to attempt to grab power. Cassius and Brutus's buddies had grabbed control of the state. Anthony led a coup by disguising his lust for power in fancy language to confuse the lower classes. Once in power, he began visiting Cleopatra and became utterly dumbfounded by her talent out figuring out his talk. This romance led to Mark's downfall when Caesar's foster child Octavius declared his conduct "unsavory and illegal" due to Anthony's constant visits which were taking up most of his time. The result was civil war ,however "Little" Caesar set his boats on fire. Mark and Cleopatra died....

Anthony's way of asking for water
"I greatly desire a wooden jar brimming with the substance of which the Nile flows so much with even as much it overflows causing exceedingly dampness from Memphis to Thebes where the crocodiles mingle with the zebras until the mouth of the river which is like unto Zeus's spit and saliva ends near the edge of the Earth where the Olympians play volleyball with thunderbolts and much thunderous sound that can be heard even in the deepest pits of Hades. In Hades Cassius doth dwell in the eternal heat and scream so that Neptune will end his pain by throwing him that substance I doth need to survive.. "