Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar was the King of the Roman Empire prior to the birth of Snoopy in 1889. He had a big impact on salad making, the calendar, the art of conflict, and redefined The Beginning of Imperial governing.

A long time ago in a peninsula far away...
Julius was born 789,314.7657,557.575,757,781,754,100,000,0000 years after THE BEGINNING/when the egg hatched. In those days Bavaria was still lived in by mammoths, and Transylvania was a lovely country filled with all manner of fools. Rome was attempting Thomas Jefferson style democracy after the excessive rule of kings. Caesar is known to have raised up forces to commit genocide of the French gain territory for the Romans. There he witnessed Stand-up philosophers conjure up the first yo mama jokes. Inspired by this insult ,he slayed the philosophers' mama. In the end the locals surrendered (this scene was historic)because of the fear that Caesar would kill their wives. Triumphantly, he returned with no less then eighty examples of yo mama jokes which he extracted from the philosopher Tinturat the smarty-toga. These jokes were a hit,but the Roman establishment afraid that Caesar's popularity would exceed their own popularity ordered his execution. Defiantly he utterly owned the roman democracy transforming it into an imperial nation. From that year forward, Caesar raised up armies with his henchmen Mark Anthony ,executed the royal chefs over the lack of chicken in his salad, and said that every month should be named after him.( Senators forced him to name a few months after their gods.In the end he was killed by an unhappy politician named Brutus . His legacy includes the fact every single Roman loved him,every single Gallic tribesmen hated him,every single Roman ruler pretended they were members of his family.