Illuminati

The Illuminati are were a secret society which arose in Bavaria during the late 1700s, founded by Adam Weishaupt with the self-declared goal of global domination the manufacturing of candles. Despite being a secret society, the Illuminati failed the most basic rule of secrecy, which is not to be seen (an error which could have been easily rectified with Ninja training, if it were not for the stuffy and elderly German aristocratic members pooh-poohing the idea as it would require physical exertion). Because of this oversight the order was outlawed by Karl Theodor, King of Bavaria.

John Smith 42^3.14 was rumored to be among the top leadership of the Illuminati.

History
This organization began when Siegfried the (immortal) Dragon Slayer appeared his Bavarian grand nieces in law using a time machine. He told them in old German to "eat more doughnuts before roasting (?) wild boars" in 1762. However the words in new German were "increase digestion of the pastries prior to inflicting light and heat to wild boars". His grand nieces were amazed and set up an enterprise based on setting various swine on fire so they could eat pastries making candlesticks. Adam Weishaupt was inspired by this model to set up a hobby club secret society. Activities included blackmailing writing letters, theft asking for donations, arranging warfare donating to naval training, and terminating crime rings removing gangsters...